QUALITY OVER QUANTITY - A Sermon to My Inner Critic on the Medicine of Small Spaces

I feel to share a tender reflection - one many experienced holders of healing spaces may resonate with. My aim is to hold a compassionate mirror up to my own experiences, whilst affirming the soul-level potency of our work. It's about reaffirming quality as a measure of success, rather than simply measuring our work by popularity or the money we make.

I notice how my ego deflates like a punctured balloon when my classes are smaller than those of other facilitators', especially at festivals, where participants have several choices of sessions to attend. There are moments when my heart quietly aches. I see the crowds flocking toward the sexier, more sensational peak experiences. I hear the music, the laughter, the buzz. And then I look at my circle: smaller, quieter, fewer faces. My inner critic says in a shouty whisper, "You're not enough!"

The ego - bless her - panics. She counts bodies. She desperately wants to cut and run. She measures success by the fullness of a room, not the fullness of a heart. She quickly forgets what's known in her bones: that healing is not loud. That transformation does not require volume. That depth is not always visible at the surface.

Because after the sessions, someone stays behind with tears in their eyes and says:

“Until now, I haven't been able to allow anyone - except my wife - to touch me.”

Someone else smiles:

“I haven't been able to open my arms out wide to expose my heart since I was abused. Today I spread my wings and flew! My body hasn’t felt this safe in years.”

Another hugs me fiercely and says:

“This sublime experience has changed everything for me.”

And I remember: I do not serve the crowd. I serve the soul. This is a path for those devoted to presence more than performance and popularity; for those who know that love, truth, and beauty don't usually choose to bloom in crowded places, but rather in the quiet sanctuaries of intentional space.

And yes, if I'm honest, my ego still wants the numbers, and she definitely wants the applause. Yes, she wants to earn more money. But the soul wants depth and authentic communion.

So I return to myself. I breathe deeply and slowly into my belly and remember that rivers carve canyons with perseverance and patience over millennia; that one healed heart is a universe transformed.

And I speak to myself, gently but firmly:

"You are not here to fill rooms,

You are here to point to portals.

You are not here to impress,

You are here to serve with devotion.

You are not here to be seen by many,

You are here to see the ones who come.

The sacred works in whispers, not billboards,

And the most potent medicine

Often arrives in silence."

So when the circle is small, I will not waver. I will ignore the competing voices in my head. I shall bow lower. I will light a candle and tend to the flame. I will do what I came here to do. What I do for one, I do for all. One heart opened is a ripple across the cosmos. I will trust in this quiet, radiant truth: the quality of my embodied presence is my offering, and it is enough.

I'm reminded of a quote by one of my favourite authors, Oriah Mountain Dreamer:

"You may only touch a few, but if you touch them truly, you’ve touched the world.”