DAKINIS ARE DANGEROUS
They should come with a warning sign: ‘Friends, take care.’
That's quite a controversial statement, isn't it? That Dakinis are dangerous? What do I
mean by this?
Well, in my experience, people will – unsolicited - write, or leave voice notes, or even call directly, and ask for advice. This advice is not requested of her in her personal capacity, nor is it asked for within the healing sanctity of a closed, safe container, where - as Dakini - she calibrates her system to meet the person where they are at, energetically travelling to the place they’re currently inhabiting. Here, they can together slowly explore and unpack the patterns playing, in a way that’s progressive, gentle, contextualized, balanced, and integrated.
It’s in informal, casual territory where Dakini can ruthlessly chop our heads off, and where seekers should, therefore, proceed with caution. Because, if she's asked outside of that safe container, we might receive an answer we're not ready for, and she's not going to calibrate herself to meet you in a gentle compassionate way as it's outside of the agreement and mutual exchange (and respect) of a co-created container. We should be mindful of what we ask for, especially around a Truth-Teller.
As Dakini, her essential reason for existing in manifest form is Liberation through Truth.
So, when we ask Dakini for advice outside of her sacred temple, and there is no carefully created crucible - with a corresponding energy exchange - then her unvarnished transmission may be so much more than we’re ready to handle in the given moment: like lightening striking a tree and burning it to the ground in an instant. Our nervous systems may not have the capacity to process her answers. And in that instance, we may be re-traumatized.
I define trauma as too much information coming into the body-mind too quickly for the nervous system to adequately process. If our nervous system hasn’t got the capacity to receive a direct smack of truth, it can be highly triggering, confronting, and counterproductive.
The truth is: the truth does not always set us free.
I'm going to give an example: a Dakini was once asked by a young woman whether she should intervene in her ex-partner's new relationship, given that - in her experience - his unconscious patterns had played out in highly abusive and narcissistic ways.
Now that he was in a new relationship, she felt compelled to warn his love interest of these traumatizing tendencies and was basically asking permission for her intervention. For some reason, she needed the Dakini’s seal of approval, as if that would legitimize her impulse.
She truly believed she had the woman's best interest at heart; that her compulsion was purely in the name of sisterhood. Yet something in her needed validation, something in the depths of her unconscious was stirring uncomfortably and was looking for reassurance.
The Dakini’s feedback to her was:
Firstly, to truthfully check the shadow motivations within herself, that wanted to speak to his captivating new lover, who she knew only vaguely. Were they not tinged with revenge, and a wanting to destroy any chance of happiness for her former lover, because she was still recovering from the hurtful fallout of her relationship with him? Or perhaps there were flavors of a childish impulse, ‘If I can’t have him on my terms, then nobody can have him at all?’
Secondly, by interfering in the relationship, and knowing the likelihood of that intervention being relayed back to him - either by the woman concerned, or by some third party – the chances were high there might still be some residual, unconscious desire to remain in connection with him, even if that connection was unhealthy. Like a neglected child, who would rather receive negative attention, than no attention at all.
We tend to stick with the familiar, regardless of its merit.
Thirdly every single soul's path has immaculate freedom of choice and attempting to rescue anyone - even if it comes from a place of a genuine concern - can have disastrous, unintended consequences. The best laid plans of mice and men, and all that. The rescuer in her had not considered the possibility that the dynamic playing out between her ex-lover and his new partner might be totally different to the one that had played out between him and herself. Plus, the new women’s soul had called her to this relationship, which may need to play out, and by circumventing her process, she could miss out on vital opportunities to resolve her own unconscious patterns, and heal, and grow.
Good intentions can lead to unintended consequences.
Fourthly, the urge to rescue is usually a coping strategy in disguise; one that’s not wanting to deal with the very difficult residual emotions remaining after the heartache of a breakup. And then the unconscious desire to win people over to our own side of an experience – to gang up on the perpetrator - can be a strong one. ‘You see, I was right, you were wrong.’
When we win our freedom, we are only truly free when everyone else is free to be exactly as they are.
~ Adyashanti ~
(Which does not negate the need for healthy boundaries)
The feedback from the Dakini confronted all the parts of her that were not clean and clear: the enquirer found herself quite triggered and dismayed that a fellow sister – furthermore one supposedly supporting the awakening of all women – had not colluded in her movement to rescue (possibly with a tinge or revenge). She felt thwarted and exposed.
It's a very different story if someone asks for advice and support, or if one is very close to the person concerned, and there is a certain duty of care. However, even then, the likelihood of the person - who hasn’t asked for any advice - receiving it and welcoming it - especially from an ex, who can be perceived as jealous and envious - is remote. It’s more likely it won’t land sweetly in their system, and they may even want to kill the messenger!
If there is something pressing you wish to explore for yourself, and if there is a Dakini you relate to, or resonate with and trust, then invest your time and money in a formal session. This is a safer, wiser option. In a session she prepares herself properly, she feels into the person who has made the request, and she calibrates her transmission to meet you where you’re at.
Outside of session, she dances the light fantastic, because she’s a SkyDancer, who loves the clarity of space, and is free of any obligation to be nice, thoughtful, or kind unless its in her own authentic arising.
So, she will give you a clear reflection back, but don't be surprised if it's something you're not ready to receive. If you’re not ready to invest time and money in your exploration, it probably means you haven't prioritized it as that important in your life just yet.
And by the way, it's not because Dakinis are mercenary or materialistic – it’s because when you sit with a Dakini and you give an energy exchange, you are showing respect, and you are asking for her considered wisdom, tailored to your capacity. On her side, she has a responsibility to be a lot more nuanced and considered in her sharing.
When she's dancing freely in her leisure time, beware dear friends – do not abuse her precious time, or wisdom accumulated over lifetimes of dedication to truth. Pay your respects. Pay your dues. Earn her quality attention, or simply stay silent.